A Last-Minute Dark & Weird Holiday Gift Guide

‘Tis the season, and no matter your chosen religious or pagan winter festivities, it’s “about that time” to wrap up—pun intended—your online shopping if you want those gifts to be delivered relatively on-time.

I’ve noticed so many dark and offbeat gifts out there on the internet—thanks, ad sense 🙄—I thought I’d put that to good use with four places and themes to help you usher in a very scary Christmas, and nerdy New Year.

These are for you, Friend.

Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Hexmas

If you’ve never heard of Killstar.com, you’re about to enter the darkest reaches of the holiday and year-round gifting underworld.

They’ve got an entire section dedicated to the holidays—just hit Hexmas on the super-menu. Their selection ranges from evil-cute to downright evil, and you can find some really fun and weird gifts for less than $10.

I wouldn’t be able to say how the quality is, but I do notice many an online Goth dress in Killstar gear, so I’m willing to bet on Krampus that they’ll be a cool place to shop for “That One Friend” or family member we’ve all got. 😈🖤

Photo Credit: @Killstar on Instagram

Classic Family Fun with a Fantastical Spin

Bring back the board game, I say. Oh, I know, table top gaming is still all the rage with we fantasy folk. But can you say you’ve played a rousing game of Middle Earth Monopoly? Capitalism isn’t dead in Rivendell, my friends. It’s also nice to take a break from the intense table top gaming, and get in some classics that still have the vibe of epic world-building, but without the up-til-dawn story arcs. #AintGotNoTimeForThat

How about a new family tradition of gifting a classic game with a genre spin every year?

These stand-out selections are from Amazon, so fast shipping ahoy!

Game of Thrones Monopoly

Goonies Monopoly

Stranger Things Monopoly

Lord of the Rings Monopoly (Trilogy Edition)

Classic/Collectors’ Edition

The Nightmare Before Christmas Monopoly

Disney Villains Sorry!

Star Wars Rebellion Board Game

LOTR Battle for Middle Earth Chess Set

Marvel Avengers Clue

Spider-Man Connect 4

Zelda Uno Cards

Funko Disney The Haunted Mansion: Call of Spirits Board Game

Cards Against *Scream Face*

And not from Amazon, but sure to bring your household shrieks of delight, is the official game of Alice Cooper, HorrorBox.

It’s a lot like Cards Against Humanity or Apples to Apples, but all horror-themed. Sure to keep even the most hardcore horror nerds in your dark brood guessing!

Gruesome Yule Gruel

For the truly adventurous kitchen witches and warlocks in your family, this uniquely inspiring cookbook, Horror Caviar by A24 Films (Hereditary, The VVitch) is a celebration of horror, a cookbook, and quite the coffee table book!

About the book:

Got a taste for horror?

Feasts, delicacies, and drinks inspired by 29 horror movies from cult to canon, including AuditionSuspiriaPossessionGanja & Hess, MidsommarTrouble Every DayThe ShiningThe Witch, and many more.

Featuring culinary contributions from 25 celebrated food artists, stylists, and chefs, original essays by A.S. Hamrah, Phoebe Chen, Yasmina Price, Sohla El-Waylly, Stephanie LaCava, and Carmen Maria Machado, and a foreword by director Ti West.

Photography by Justin J Wee.

Easy, Fully-Immersive Reads

In the tradition of Iceland’s Jolabokaflod, where families stay up all night reading books and consuming chocolate on Christmas Eve, how about “leveling up” your gifted reads with pop-up books? They’re a bit more laid-back, easy to read in a night, fun to collect, and super fascinating to read together, no matter your age.

Alfred Hitchcock: The Master of Suspense: A Pop-Up Book

The Pop-Up Book of Nightmares

The Pop-Up Book of Phobias

The Raven: A Pop-Up Book

Star Wars: The Ultimate Pop-Up Galaxy

Encyclopedia Mythologica: Gods and Heroes Pop-Up Book

Flower Faeries Magical Doors

Harry Potter: A Pop-Up Guide to Hogwarts

The Walking Dead: The Pop-Up Book

I honestly could go on with even more, but I don’t want to send you into the nightmare-grip of option paralysis!

Just remember the reason for the season: togetherness. You Time. Family Time. It’s not about presents, it’s about Presence. But if you’re still looking for presents, I hope this little guide of misfit toys inspired you, got you unstuck, or… bolstered your own wish lists. 😈🎄

Published by Dave Reed

daydreamer-in-chief, romantic & writer

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